


Something Like Bunnies

by JacquelineHyde



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: F/F, M/M, although the term plot is used very loosely here, shippy nonsense, use of gameplay mechanics as plot elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 08:56:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18279902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JacquelineHyde/pseuds/JacquelineHyde
Summary: In which Kiran has had it up to here with this summoning nonsense, Anna is on a quest for the perfect photo, and everyone else is a bunny.And you know what bunnies like to do...





	Something Like Bunnies

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the worst summary ever. Turns out, it's really hard to summarize a story where sweet fork-all happens. But hey, there's bunnies!

The atmosphere is tense with excitement as Kiran waits before the summoning stone, flanked on either side by adorable floppy-eared Askran siblings.

Unsurprisingly, it was Sharena who had insisted that she and Alfonse greet the new arrivals in their costumes from last year's Spring Festival, since there is a possibility of Heroes rumoured to have come directly from the same celebration in _their_ world, and seeing their hosts skipping around in bunny attire with them might make them feel a little less self-conscious.

Much _more_ surprisingly, it had taken only the smallest bit of badgering for Alfonse to solemnly agree. When asked how she had accomplished such a miracle so quickly, Sharena had grinned and reminded Kiran that there was a chance of Zacharias showing up, bunny suit and all, and there was _nothing_ Alfonse wouldn't do if it might help draw their friend to Askr. It was a little annoying, she had admitted, smile wilting, that he was so quick to dress up for a boy when his darling little sister's happiness wasn't enough reason, but at least she wouldn't have to club him unconscious and get Fjorm to help her put him in the costume this year.

(Sharena had also _tried_ to insist that Kiran dress up with them, in the appropriately bunny-themed scraps that were apparently supposed to serve as her Spring Festival costume; Kiran had shut that idea down _real_ fast, assuring Sharena that if she didn't drop it, the summoner would do everything in her power to make sure that she never, ever summoned a pretty girl again. Although Kiran herself had no idea if this was even remotely possible, the threat had been effective, and Sharena had immediately dropped it.)

“Hey, we should have gotten _you_ a bunny costume, Commander,” Kiran calls to Anna, who is busily roaming around the perimeter of the circle, photo-tome in hand, searching for the best angle to capture the magic of powerful allies in ridiculous costumes.

Anna snorts. “You wish.”

“Fervently,” Kiran sighs, her mind immediately conjuring up a lovingly detailed image of Anna barely clad in bunny ears and a fluffy little cottontail.

“If I dress up, who will document the moment for posterity and profit?”

“Anna, if you wear the nonsense that Sharena had planned for me, I will take all the pictures you could ever want. And then some. And then some more. God, Anna I will take _so many pictures_ of you, you have no idea!”

“Kiran!” Sharena calls, poking the summoner playfully in the side. “You can be all schmoopy and embarrassing later! I want to meet our new friends!”

“Zacharias...” Alfonse sighs with great longing, ducking guiltily when the three girls fix him with unimpressed looks. “And others!”

Kiran gives Alfonse a gentle scritch behind his left bunny ear.

“Thanks for making me feel a little less embarrassing, buddy.”

“Any time, Summoner. Just...just please bring him home!”

Kiran snorts a laugh.

“You wanna kiss Briedablik for good luck? Oh my God, stop! I wasn't serious!” she finishes as Alfonse moves to do just that.

“I'll do anything that might help,” he assures her very seriously.

“I...do not doubt that at all,” Kiran assures him, trying frantically to swat away a mental image of the young prince beside her attempting to deepthroat her divine weapon. “And it terrifies me.”

“Okay, the lighting is perfect!” Anna announces. “Kiran, do it!”

“I think this is going to go really well,” Kiran informs the bunnies flanking her. “I'm feeling lucky.”

 

* * *

 

Five minutes, three Gunters and a Raigh later, Kiran is feeling substantially less lucky. Mouth set in a grim line, she shoves Breidablik in Alfonse's face. He blinks, startled, looking from the barrel of a divine weapon to the highly annoyed summoner, and back again.

“You wanna kiss it for luck, now's the time.”

 Obediently, Alfonse drops a light kiss against the side. Immediately, Kiran yanks it away and shoves it in front of Sharena.

“You too, kiddo,” she prompts when Sharena looks bewildered by this turn of events.

“This is really weird,” Sharena notes sadly, nevertheless doing as told.

“Okay! Let's do this!” Kiran strikes a dramatic pose and moves to fire again.

Two bunnies, a commander, and a summoner wait with bated breath for the new arrival to be revealed.

“C'mon, Zach,” Alfonse mutters to Kiran's right.

“C'mon, pretty girl,” Sharena mutters to her left.

“C'mon, someone with plenty of orbs,” Anna mutters from across the summoning circle.

“This is why Anna's my favourite,” Kiran mutters from precisely in her current location.

“Right,” Sharena giggles. “It has nothing at all to do with the gorgeous red hair, pretty eyes, and smokin' bod."

“I am Wrys, a humble curate,” the figure in the center of the circle announces.

“Wrys!” Sharena exclaims joyfully. “That's fifty-four!”

“GODDAMMIT!” Kiran wails.

“I cannot fight,” the elderly man adds, undaunted by this less than warm reception from the summoner, “but--”

“Yeah, that's great, thanks for coming,” Kiran interrupts, tugging Wrys from the circle by the arm and shoving him in the direction of the castle. “Go grab some food, make yourself at home, we'll be with you in a sec.”

“You could at least _try_ to keep your disappointment to yourself, Summoner,” Alfonse mutters.

“Shut up, or I'll stick some bunny ears on him and stop trying to get your boyfriend.”

“You wouldn't!”

“I think you'll find that I would."

“We still have more orbs, right?” Sharena chirps. “Should we kiss Breidablik for luck again?”

Kiran considers this.

“Might be a good idea. Maybe give it some tongue this time.”

Sharena frowns.

“I don't know, Kiran, I've seen you swat bugs with that thing.”

“I...really wish I had known that about six minutes ago,” Alfonse muses with a shudder.

“Okay, let's try this again! Anna?” Kiran peers strangely at the commander, whose tome is conspicuously absent. “Aren't you gonna get a pic?”

“I'm trying something different this time.”

“If you're sure,” Kiran shrugs absently, aiming once again for the circle.

When the light fades and the smoke clears from the summoning circle to reveal the masked prince of the Emblian Empire, bunny suit and all, Kiran has about three seconds to react before a streak of white, gold, and baby blue goes shooting past her, long ears flapping in the breeze.

“Zach!” Alfonse yelps joyously, leaping at Prince Bruno, who after a bit of ungainly fumbling and the inexplicable explosion of his entire shirt, seems eager enough to catch his long lost best friend, hands tight at the backs of the smaller man's thighs where they cling around his waist.

“I knew it!” Anna shouts, bolting for her tome. “I knew we'd get someone worthwhile the second I wasn't ready to get a picture! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!”

“Rude!” shout Raigh, Wrys, and Gunter – evidently very loudly – from the castle.

“Okay, so _that_ was a little bold,” Kiran notes, impressed, amid the frantic clicking of Anna's recovered tome. “Damn, Alfonse.”

“It's probably my fault,” Sharena admits with an expression half grin and half grimace. “I brought a flask of whisky, and I've been making him take a shot every time he starts complaining about the plunging neckline. Maybe I overdid it? You know how much he likes to complain when he thinks something is Infringing Upon His Dignity.”

Kiran shrugs.

“I don't think our new friend minds.”

“Hi,” Alfonse greets excitedly, nose to nose with Prince Bruno.

“Hi,” he returns with a soft, fond smile that gives Kiran the brief urge to vomit sunshine and rainbows.

“You're here!” Alfonse points out, very much as though this will come as a startling revelation.

“I am,” Prince Bruno agrees with a soft laugh.

“And you're a bunny!”

“Yes, I am.”

“I'm a bunny, too,” Alfonse announces importantly.

“So I see. A very pretty bunny.” Tightening his hold, Prince Bruno grins. “And you know what bunnies like to do when they get together.”

“Oh my God,” Kiran mutters, rubbing her forehead. “Should we be putting a stop to this?”

“Shh!” Anna orders, staring intently at the pair through her tome. “Just let it happen!”

“I sure do!” Alfonse is meanwhile agreeing, bouncing excitedly in place against Bruno, and twisting in his arms to beckon to Sharena.

“ALFONSE!” Kiran barks as Sharena happily joins the pair in an extremely awkward group hug. “THAT IS YOUR SISTER!”

Anna peers at Kiran strangely.

“What's that got to do with anything?”

“Seriously?” Kiran whines. “We're just going to stand here and watch them—”

“Eat lettuce!” the three bunny-clad royals finish in unison.

Kiran blinks.

“Uh... _what_?”

Prince Bruno sets Alfonse carefully back on the ground, and in perfect synchronization, all three withdraw heads of crisp iceberg lettuce from _some_ unholy secret compartment of those skintight costumes – Kiran suspects pocket dimensions at work.

“Summoner? Commander? Would you like some lettuce?” Alfonse pulls out another head. “I also brought some for Princess Veronica, and Palla and Marisa, but they aren't here, and it might not be fresh anymore by the time they arrive.”

“I'm good, thanks,” Anna assures him, searching for the perfect angle to capture the moment as Alfonse, Bruno, and Sharena settle comfortably on the ground and begin nibbling at their leafy green treats, noses twitching happily.

“...Lettuce?!” Kiran exclaims, rather at a loss for any other words.

“Well, sure,” Alfonse shrugs. “Why? What did you think we were—Kiran! In public?! What do you take us for?”

“Kiran, that's my brother and future brother-in-law you're talking about!” Sharena adds, appalled.

“I hope you'll keep such filthy thoughts to yourself when my little sister arrives, Summoner,” Bruno says, presumably fixing her with a severe look from behind his mask.

“I hate everyone in this room,” Kiran announces pleasantly.

“We're in the middle of a field, Summoner,” Alfonse points out.

“Especially you.”

“Kiran, stop being so cranky,” Anna admonishes. “These pictures are going to sell great! There's a whole _mending relations with enemy kingdom through the power of Spring_ angle just waiting to be exploited! Now, give it another go, and try to get me some more bunnies, okay?”

“Fine,” Kiran sighs, casting Anna and begrudgingly adoring smile. “But _only_ because it's you.”

And so, the brave and brilliant summoner Kiran again takes aim, and the summoning circle fills with smoke and light once more.

“Veronica!” Bruno cries when the small, floppy-eared shape in the center of the circle becomes discernible.

“Hello, everyone,” Princess Veronica of Embla greets, sounding largely disdainful and just a little bit shy. “Got any lettuce?”

“Okay, that's it for me,” Kiran announces, already heading for the path back to the castle. “I'm out.”

“Kiran!” Sharena calls, aghast. “What about the rest of our new friends? We still have all these orbs!”

“We could always just save them,” Alfonse suggests.

“No, we're not saving them, that's just stupid,” Kiran says absently, puzzling over the best way to make this a half-day, but still continue summoning. After a moment, she shoves Breidablik at Alfonse. “Here, buddy, have a go. If you get a Frederick, send it back. If you get another Raigh, you're fired.”

Without waiting for a reaction, Kiran starts ambling back to the castle.

“Um, okay?” Alfonse agrees hesitantly somewhere behind her. “I'll do my best.”

“Wow! Four Hectors and a Duma!” Sharena announces excitedly a few seconds later, once the flash of light has faded from Kiran's peripheral vision. “Good job, Alfonse!”

“Lucky shot,” Kiran shrugs to herself.

“Four Dumas and a Hector?!” Alfonse exclaims following another flash of light. “Sharena, are you sure you haven't done this before?”

“Rrrrrrgh,” Kiran observes pleasantly amid the grinding of her own teeth.

 

* * *

 

“I cannot _believe_ what a shit-show today was,” Kiran laments directly into her pillow several hours later.

“What? What are you talking about?” Anna calls from the closet. “We recruited a _lot_ of powerful allies today.”

“Yeah, and all they wanted to do was eat lettuce!”

“Hey, that's what bunnies do.”

“It's apparently what Hectors and Dumas do, too,” Kiran grumbles, wondering if she can shove her face far enough into the pillow to smother herself.

“You can look now.” At the soft puff of breath against her ear and the gentle touch to the back of her neck, Kiran shivers and scrambles to sit up, only to be nearly knocked flat on her back by the sight before her.

_Anna._

_Is wearing._

_A bunny suit._

A _three-piece_ bunny suit.

It's the sexiest goddamn thing Kiran has ever seen.

“You know what _else_ bunnnies do?” Anna asks with a mischeivous grin, waving a bunny-ear headband to match her own.

“Eat...pellets?” Kiran suggests, unwilling to get her hopes up too high after the day she's had.

Anna simply shakes her head, grin widening, and leaps at her girlfriend, knocking them both flat on the bed.

“I know we can't _actually_ make a zillion more bunnies together,” Kiran says, ducking her head to let Anna put the ears on her, “but by God, we can have fun trying!”


End file.
